Saddled with responsibility

I went to predominantly white middle school, high school, and now college. And all along there's been people questioning why can't we use the N word or just like, we're going to use the N word and you can't stop us, whatever, stuff like that. And so that's always been, yeah, definitely some pressure that has been riding my back for, I don't know, at least a decade of like having to, to stand up, but there's an extent to where you can't stand up or something bad could happen to you. But I do definitely, and, and also being the only black person in those situations most of the time.

I started thinking of it a long time ago. I was like, I'm an ambassador to my whole race or people will be like, how do black people feel about so and so issue? And I have to just know what all black people feel in that moment or say something that because they're gonna remember what you say. And so what you say matters in that moment. But you might not be prepared to it. You know, put a whole race on your back in just a quick response to something that may or may not matter, but definitely pressure. And I think that that still rides with me till today.